


How To Find a Husband in 90 Days

by Burningchaos



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Supernatural
Genre: Background Poly, Background Slash, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Darcyland (Marvel), Demons, F/M, Finger Wiggles at Cannon, Heterosexual Sex, I make things up as I go along, Jack Rollins is a troll, M/M, Matchmaker Natasha Romanov, Multi, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, SHIP DARCY LEWIS WITH ALL THE THINGS, Troll Bucky Barnes, Troll Clint Barton, Witches, everyone lives in stark tower
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:22:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25602757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burningchaos/pseuds/Burningchaos
Summary: Darcy is thirty in three months. If she isn't married by than her father is going to make her marry the man of his choice. Darcy isn't going to let that shit slide.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Laura Barton/Natasha Romanov, Darcy Lewis/Brock Rumlow, Jack Rollins/Sam Wilson
Comments: 16
Kudos: 76





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PumpkinDoodles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PumpkinDoodles/gifts), [ibelieveinturtles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibelieveinturtles/gifts).



> So the first few chapters are a remix of the old story, if you haven't read 90 Days don't worry. There is some new content, I've (hopefully) fixed my issue with changing tenses at the drop of a hate and tried to give the story more depth. 
> 
> According to google translate Mladshaya sestra means little sister - if I am wrong correct me. 
> 
> Darina Laoise means Fertile Radiant Girl

1988

“Karith, what have you done?” Crowley walked into the room horrified by what he saw. A child. His if she was telling the truth. 

“The same as always, my dear, exactly what I want too.” Karith didn’t even raise her eyes to look at him, she was too focused on the dark-haired beauty she was nursing. “Come meet your daughter.”

Crowley moved so he could see the baby. She had a thick head of hair, her skin was pale and her eyes a stunning blue. He shrugged and played off how moved he was by the sight of her. She was so tiny and perfect. “She looks like your mother.”

“Hold your tongue,” Karith looked at him sharply, “You know better to mention that woman in my presence.” She despised the mere thought of that horrible woman. After all, who wouldn’t hate someone who tried to kill you twice.

“What’s her name?”

“Darina Laoise MacLeod-Lewis.” She switches Darina to her other breast.

“I won’t be able to protect her. I’ve barely been able to protect you.” Crowley leaned against the wall staring at Darcy.

“I’m not worried about it. I am a witch of the Lewis line, we are not the same as those petty witches that bargain with your brethren, we are born with our powers.

“Yes, but now you are vulnerable.”

Karith sighed heavily. “I chose to have this child, a child who at first was just to carry the Lewis line. Even with the spells and rituals, I wasn’t sure I could conceive with you, it was an experiment. Now…” she trailed off and looked at him for the first time since he appeared. “I believe this is what true love feels like.” 

He came closer and ran his finger over Darcy’s cheek and the curl of her fingers against his lover’s breast. “I won’t be able to come often, but I would like to if you will let me.” He thought about all the ways to keep them concealed. Lilith was an unforgiving taskmaster and would gleefully kill them both just to make him watch. The best way was not to be here often, little though he liked it. He hadn’t been human in centuries, but looking at his daughter had him feeling something that he hadn’t thought possible for a demon. 

She smiled up at him, “Of course you can.” 

2015

“Jane, Janey I need your help.” Darcy looked over at her boss who isn’t paying attention to her at all. “Ugh, Jane please…tell me what to do.”

“Well, for one whining won’t help.” Jane scratched her nose leaving an ink smudge that Darcy thought was cute. “Go bother Sharon or Natasha, they love matchmaking. Either that or you can put Fandrel out of his misery, he really likes you.”

“No, he only wants me for the girls. Also, Thor said he would rend him limb from limb, which is sweet but my virtue is long gone.” Darcy typed how to find a husband quickly into her search bar. 

Jane nodded, “He takes his big brother duties very seriously.” She reached over and grabbed a kale chip off her desk, bit into, and made a face. “These are disgusting, why am I eating them?” Clicking around randomly led Darcy to a site that looked interesting but turned out to be Daddy porn. She closed out the window but not before she hacked Clint’s account and set it as his home page. She cackled silently, she owed him a prank or ten.

“Because we are trying to get healthy?” Darcy turned around and pulled at the sleeve of her multi-colored lab sweater, it had clearly been knitted by a color-blind, but loving grandma. Still, it was ugly as fuck but also comfy, warm and made everyone look at her like she was a loon.

“Is that a question? Are we not sure why we are getting healthier? Jane started digging through her desk for the emergency chocolate stash. 

“You ate all the chocolate last week. Also, you were complaining about your weight again around Bruce and he gave you, well me, instructions on how to help you gain a few pounds so you don’t look like a POW.” Darcy reached into her bag and pulled out some Reese’s Pieces. She shook the bag and Jane rushed over.

“Give me!” Darcy held them behind her. 

“Not unless you help me.”

“Darcy”, Jane whimpered, “Your birthday is three months away, I have no idea how to help you find someone to marry in three months. If you were that worried you could have married Ian.”

“No, we agreed to not mention that name ever again.” Darcy handed over the candy. “He was a cheating cheater who cheated. Plus she was ugly, had no boobs, and was French.”

Jane swallowed her mouthful of candy, “What’s wrong with being French?”

“Nothing,” Darcy shrugged, “I was just stating the facts.”

“Well, I have no idea, unless you want to marry Loki. He only asks you every day.”

“It’s a joke Jane, he is laughing at my life. Fine, I am going to go make some cupcakes to bribe Natasha with.”

“Jarvis, where is Natasha right now?” Darcy put the last cupcake in the box as she asked. She’d spent almost an hour looking up a good recipe to bribe her favorite spy with.

“Ms. Romanoff is currently in her apartment, Miss Lewis.” 

“Can you ask her if she is up for visitors?” 

“Ms. Romanoff said to hurry, she has just started hate watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith again.”

“Tell her I am on my way.”

Natasha, stood in the door waiting for her. A rare smile graced her face as she bluntly stated. “You want something.”

“What makes you think that?” Darcy followed her into the apartment and headed to the kitchen. 

“You baked.” She leaned against the counter as Darcy grabbed a plate from the cupboard. Everyone in Darcy’s circle knew she needed to get married. Sam and Clint had been taking bets for the last six months, most people had their bets on an inheritance. She hadn’t made a decision yet, and Darcy had been very tight-lipped leaving little in the way of clues. Natasha was irritated that she hadn’t found an answer to the mystery yet. 

“Ok, you’re right I need your help.” Darcy started plating the cupcakes. “These are White Russian cupcakes with Vodka buttercream frosting.”

“I don’t have to share these with Clint?” She snatched one from the box, sniffed it then grabbed the plate Darcy handed her. 

“Isn’t he with Laura this week?” She could never get the schedule right, sometimes it was a weekend here, two weeks there other times he would randomly appear with Laura and the kids in tow.

“He returns tomorrow.” Natasha shrugs, “Timesharing is difficult, but Laura lets me play the doting Aunt.”

“I couldn’t do that.” Darcy frowned, “I think I would be the jealous type in a situation like this, but hey if she approved of the two of you bumping uglies she’s a better woman than me.”

“I can assure nothing on this end is ugly.” 

“No, I figured Clint had that end down pretty well for both of you.” Darcy laughed, “So Mr. and Mrs. Smith?”

“It’s a toss-up who I find more attractive.” Natasha peeled her cupcake and settled down on the couch, taking a bite she couldn’t help but let out a pleased sound. “These are very good.” She took another bite before she addressed the issue.” You need to find a husband, yes?”

Darcy leaned her head back on the couch, pulled a throw over her, and sighed, “Dad said if I’m not married by the time I’m thirty he is going to pick my husband. I’ve seen his idea of guys that are perfect for me. One of them has a forehead the size of Texas.”

Natasha choked back her laughter, “First, Why do you only have three months? Second, Sam and Clint are running the bets on it.” She watched horror creep across her friend's face. “Third, I will help you ruin them if you like.”

“Hello Kitty pink and an obscene amount of glitter should be involved. Tony owes me a few so he should have some great ideas too.” The glee of revenge always soothed her. 

Natasha carefully schooled her features, it was hard to not look eager. “You know, the only other thing I couldn’t find out about you was who your father is. Care to share?”

“So, no one knows this.” Darcy chewed on her bottom lip while trying to think of how to word this, “Not even Jane knows the whole truth.” She pulled her knees up to her chest and looked at the other woman. Natasha trusted her, taught her to defend herself when she’d never asked, took her shopping for clothes that fit her figure, helped her to define her face, not overpower it with make-up. Darcy had imagined they were things she would have done with a mother or big sister if she'd had either. Her father was a secret she’d hidden her entire life, he had made sure she understood her safety depended on it. “My dad isn’t around much, or not at all for the most part because it is the easiest way to protect me. I’m his best- kept secret.” 

“What do you mean?” 

She looked toward the window and closed her eyes. “His name is Crowley, he is a demon and currently the King of Hell.” Darcy heard Natasha gasp and was afraid to look. She knew how crazy it sounded, and she didn’t want to see the derision on the other woman’s face, it wasn’t something she could handle. Not right now, or ever really. 

“There was a girl, Marta, she escaped the Red Room. She’d just disappeared one day, many Widows searched for her but she was never found. They declared her officially dead after six months, but I found her almost nine years later while on a mission in Bratislava. I was young, and it was my first solo mission. The street was busy and I was concentrating on the threat level of the people around me, desperate to make sure I blended. We studied several of her missions, she was a legend among us, it was the only reason I recognized her.” Looking in the window Darcy could see Natasha’s eyes were closed as she spoke, her words were slow and careful.

“Marta had been sitting out in the open, drinking coffee, and tilting her face toward the sun. She looked so open and free that I couldn’t help but feel jealous. We spoke, but only for a few moments.” Natasha thought about the conversation they had before repeating it verbatim.

_“They have declared you dead.”_

_“I know, it was meant to be that way.”_

_“How did you do this?” I desperately wanted to know. I wanted to know what the look on Marta’s face felt like._

_“I made a deal with the devil, even sealed it with a kiss. But today is my last day of freedom, my debt is due.”_

_“A deal with a devil? What agency would you deem a devil?”_

_“No agency, an old tale passed down by Romoni. A picture, some grave dirt, and a bone from a black cat is all you need. Go to a crossroad and dig a hole in the middle and you can make your own deal. I gave him my soul and he gave me ten years of freedom.”_

Natasha turned around, “She was telling the truth, wasn’t she? That she made a deal with a devil?”

“She was.” Darcy settled further into the couch. 

“What does it mean when someone sells their soul?” Natasha headed to the kitchen, pulled out a bottle of Stoli and took a drink from the bottle as she asked. 

“It means when you die you become a demon.” This is why she never told anyone. She’d tried to tell Jane once, not long before Thor, but she chickened out. Although she was pretty sure Thor knew, even though he had never said anything.

Natasha tilted her head for a moment, “Mladshaya sestra, I will help you but I first need to think about this.”


	2. Note

My life has gone haywire for a bit I've been dealing with everything up to and including my mum having a stroke, getting a new boss (Who changed everything) to currently having pneumonia. Please be patient with me, I will be posting again soon. Oh, btw, Mum is doing great now there are a few things that are not going to go away but on the whole it is much better than expected.

**Author's Note:**

> Brock has PTSD, it is a serious issue with a high suicide rate among the military and I wanted to do it justice (without dragging in politics ect.). 
> 
> For Help -  
> In the U.S., call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).  
> In the UK, call 08457 90 90 90.
> 
> There are also Charities Like Working Dogs for Vets (https://www.workingdogsforvets.org/about1) who train dog for vets free of charge. (I chose to use this charity as an example, I was a volunteer for many years before life got in the way to often)


End file.
